A week I never want to repeat

Let me go ahead and place a trigger warning on this material just in case.

Oh my goodness, was this weekend everything I never wanted. My brother is the strongest person I know, so when he called me crying on Friday night, I knew something was terribly wrong.  His girlfriend was in ICU after a suicide attempt, and they didn’t think she would make it.  Nobody saw it coming.

It’s a seven hour drive between me and him.  I think I made it in five. I put him in a hotel room next to the hospital so he wouldn’t have to make the hour long trip home. He used it to shower, but otherwise, he never left her side.  When she awoke, he was the first person she asked for. If these two ever separate, I’ll be shocked.  She’s okay. She’s with us.

She terrified all of us, and there was such huge relief when she woke up and started talking.  We nearly lost her multiple times over throughout that first night, and doctors are certain of brain damage due to the extended period of time without oxygen.  That said, she is awake and cognizant. We don’t see any damage yet, it may be a few weeks before we see what is off.

Everyone in her life is processing the event differently.  We have all gone through fear, at one point grief, and now a sense of relief. How everyone handles from there will be different, and will probably run a gamut of emotions over a period of time.  Some are angry.  Many are confused and don’t understand.  Others feel deeply sorry for her and the pain she must have been going through. Personally, my heart bleeds for her.  I’ve been right where she is, I know the immensity of darkness and hurt it takes before you get to that place.  The difference between her and I? Someone intervened and refused to leave my side.  I have never been so angry with another person in my life, as I was with her that night.  Looking back now, I’ll probably write her a thank you card.

Despite all that has happened, my brother’s girlfriend is very thankful to have her life.  She’s been able to put things in perspective and see the love of those around her. She’s also finally willing to accept help from those most able to give it.  It’s amazing to see the impact one soul has on the world, even that of a young 21-year-old girl. I for one, am so glad that she is here.


2 thoughts on “A week I never want to repeat

  1. I can speak from experience that after a failed attempt it takes a while to fully appreciate the fact that you are still alive. Please, please, keep an eye on her. For me, it was around 5 months before I was completely happy that I was still alive. It comes and goes for a while. Just make sure she gets the help she needs.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you. I think it is very safe to say that none of us are going to let her out of sight any time soon. She’s currently in psych, and then will be going to stay with her parents for awhile before moving back in with my brother. She recently changed insurances, and is covered to receive mental health services for the first time, so I hope she takes advantage of it.


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